Broken...

"Broken I come to you, for I know your arms are open wide."

I am broken! I am stuck! I am disappointed!

And here I sit, not sure where to go from here or how to get unstuck, but right now I'm ok with that, because I have been given freedom in knowing that it is ok for me to broken, to be stuck, to be disappointed. The Lord has met me where I am and He has given me comfort. He continues to speak to me and teach me. I know that my God is with me during this storm and He will never let go of me. The Lord has promised that He will restore me and that I will have peace and joy again, but until that day I will trust God that He will supply everything that I lack during this season in my life. I may be stuck for awhile but I'm choosing to surrender my brokeness, my disappointment and allow the Lord to meet me right where I'm at.

Lamentations 3:33 - For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.


I am not angry! I am not confused! I am not looking for answers!

I know my God didn't do this, I know this was not His plan and I don't need a reason why this happened. There may or may not be an answer to why to I miscarried again, but to be honest I don't want or need an answer right now. I know that my God is bigger then any medical answer or percentages or any other reason I have been given. I know that He could have changed the outcome of this pregnancy, but He didn't and for right now all I can do is accept that.

Psalms 34:18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit.

I am grieving! I am processing! I am surviving!

Grief is one of those emotions that affects everyone differently and everyone processes loss differently. I am one of those people that just needs to know that others are praying; that I have a shoulder to cry on when I need one. I am not doubting my faith, I know that my God loves me and I know that I will see my children in heaven, but for right now I am grieving. I have my good days and I have the days that I am just surviving, but whatever day it is my God is with me and He wraps His arms around me and speaks truth to me.

My God says "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" - Hebrews 12:5

I will come out of this and some how, some way God will turn this in to something good, but until then I hold on to the promises and the truths of God. I take His hand and we will take one step at a time.