Grace...

I know it has been awhile, but I have been at a loss of how to write what Lord has been speaking and teaching me these last few weeks. Then there are also the questions that keep going through my head. Is this right? Am I really hearing from the Lord? Does this make since to anyone but me? With those questions and my doubts I have kept silent so I can really make sure I am obeying the Lord in my life and with my words.

As some of you know I am a stay-at-home mom of three kids under the age of 5. I do enjoy my kids and my life, but some day are just plain HARD! It doesn't matter what I try I seem to fail as a mom. Some days I feel my kids are out of control or I lose it with them and start yelling or I just turn the TV on to "babysit" them so I can get a break. My parenting is something that I take very personal. I know I am not the perfect parent and I probably make decisions that other would not, but as far as I know my kids did not come with an instruction manuel so I am doing the best I can.

My parenting is something that I daily ask the Lord for help with, for ideas, for strength and patience just to get through another day. Now, not all days are tough, I do have some very enjoyable times with my kids, but I know that I CANNOT parent without the Lord and His wisdom, grace and love.

I have read a few parenting book, gone through a couple of parenting classes and tried many different things with my kids, but it seems like not matter what I try it works once and then it never works again. I was starting to feel at a loss. Then I felt the Lord nudge me to look for one more book that may help. So I went to Focus on the Family's website and came across a book called Raising Your Spirited Child. I thought it looked interesting so I bought it. As I began reading this book I came across stories of other people children acting like my children. Reading page after page I kept saying to myself  "that sounds like_________ (inserting of of my kids' name). I love the way the author describes spirited kids is "they are normal kids, but more." Let me tell you I feel like my kids are A LOT MORE!

The more I read this book the more I realize my kids are ALL spirited kids (no wonder life is crazy), now most of the families in the book seem to only have one spirited child, but the Lord blessed me with 3! I felt like I had found so much freedom in this book. Within the first few chapters of this book the author says most other parenting books/styles will not work with spirited kids. Spirited kids feel and react differently then other kids. This made my day!!! I realized that it wasn't me, I wasn't doing something wrong and it helped me to see why those other books or classes didn't seem to work so well with my kids. This book has opened my eyes to new ideas and solutions to situations that I find myself in daily. It has also helped me identify signs and watch for cues that we are about to have a break down or a melt down.

Now this book isn't perfect and neither am I. I know even with the new tools and information I now have I will still not be the "World's Best Mom". I will still make mistakes, I will probably still yell when my buttons get pushed just right, I will probably still lose it every now and then, but that is where the Lord's grace come in. God knows my heart and He knows that I want to be a good parent to the 3 SPIRITED kids He gave me. He knows that I want to train them in godly ways and to help them discover who God has created them to be. THAT IS WHAT COUNTS! I know my Heavenly Father will continue to forgive me when I fail and give me grace where I lack patience, because my the desire of my heart is to be a great mom and to honor my God with my parenting.

No one is perfect and we all have areas that we struggle with even sinful ones, but if our desires is to live a life that is honoring and obedient to our God then He will continue to cover us with grace. To forgive us when we don't deserve it, to scatter our sins and remember them no more.